PROFILE

The Journal Of A Grade A Fuck Up.

The audio conversation of the minah and the mat
will have to wait as I have to rely on one of my friends
to edit it and upload it for me.

Most probably tommorow night.
Latest monday.

Soon people soon.
I will have for you right here a minah
and a mat having phone sex.
With all the grunting and underwear
describing and all that hotel talk.



lol.



This is just getting too crazy.


Anyways I only found out today that oral and
anal sex has been legalized in Singapore.
Yes you can now legally have oral sex and anal
sex in Singapore.
As if I didn't know ,



YOU BASTARDS WERE HAPPILY HAVING ORAL
SEX BEHIND CLOSED DOORS WEREN'T YOU!




As if there weren't any Singaporeans already doing it
before this.

Tsk.

Who are we kidding man.
Making it legal now.
Wow.
Let's all start a blowjob party.

The char kway teow man can blow the nasi lemak
man.And he in return can blow the prata man.
Who can in turn blow me.

I ain't doing no blowing you hear!

And who wouldn't be more happier with that piece
of news than our very own loved local contractor.

Mr Phua Chu Kang himself.
Otherwise better known as Gurmit Singh.








Why.
Because it seems.
Mr Phua Chu Kang is very into dating men.
And he seems to like having relationships with them.










Oh yessssssss.
Phua Chu Kang likes men.

lol.

And someone even went to write him a comment
on friendster going.




Fancy asking poor phua chu kang why girls can't have sex
when they're having their period.

How would he know.
He only has sex with men.

lol.

And TCS before you come choosing to sue me
that was his friendster fan profile.

You can't blame me for Phua Chu Kang
wanting to date men.

I can just picture him having an episode
with a male lover lying on a bed with just
a towel over his ass and of course
with his yellow boots on.

Oh what a turn on.

lol.

And we'd have their conversation like this ;

*Male partner is massaging PCK with hot oil*

PCK : Eh , take my yellow boots and spank my bum.

Partner : Okay.

PCK : Yess...Harder.Say I'm the best.

Partner : You are the best.

PCK: BEST IN WHERE?!!

Partner : BEST IN SINGAPORE!

PCK : SOME MORE!

Partner : JB AND BATAM LA!

PCK: Okay now hor. Rub my mole.

Partner : Okay.

PCK : Yesss..... Call me an ah beng. Yessss...

Me : You're an ah beng.

PCK: You betta say ploperly i tells you. Don't pray
pray hor.


Nice.
After that episode.
We can all jump to our deaths.

Now we can never look at Phua Chu Kang the same way again.
I always thought it was gay of gurmit to often wear the tightest
t-shirt when he hosted Singapore Idol.

But to have a friendster account and wanting to meet men?


Sigh.

Dating men.

Sigh.



This just in.
About an hour after this entry was posted.
My friend Suhaila's dear fat ass rat passed away.
She has my condolences.

She said it died of rigor mortis.

Which I think is old age.
I don't know . I still think that thing died
trying to swallow itself.

And I was trying to comfort her online as
such ;

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i'll go weep to sleep.

jasonpereira says:
hahahahha

jasonpereira says:
ala

jasonpereira says:
get another fat rat ah.

jasonpereira says:
they're 5 bucks only

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
not the same.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
NO

jasonpereira says:
ill get you one.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
mine was 55.

jasonpereira says:
55 KG!

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
that's a bloody mouse la stupid.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
lol

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
NO

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
55 bucks.

jasonpereira says:
where am i to find a 55 kg rat.

jasonpereira says:
Oh.

jasonpereira says:
lol.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
he was a pearl pudding dwarf hamster.

jasonpereira says:
Maybe it was originally 5 bucks.

jasonpereira says:
It ate 10 others

jasonpereira says:
Thats why 55.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
he wasn't a hybrid. a hybrid of a dwarf hamster and a mouse would cost 5 bucks.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
mine was like, elite species ok.

jasonpereira says:
he was a pure breed huh.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
even more elite or ATAS would cost 90 bucks.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
mine like, 2nd class like that.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
haiz

jasonpereira says:
2nd classs fatty like that was 55 bucks.

jasonpereira says:
im sure it ate 10 other rats.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
meanie la u.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
fuck, im actually crying ok. i miss him so much.

jasonpereira says:
AHAH

jasonpereira says:
its just a rat

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
he was so jinak [tame] he would sleep on my chest leh.

jasonpereira says:
lol.

jasonpereira says:
ill get you a new one.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
ya but he was SO JINAK [TAME]

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
......

jasonpereira says:
you can go jinakkan [Tame] another fat one.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
same meh.

jasonpereira says:
he wasnt jinak [ Tame] he was just lazy to move around.


jasonpereira says:
for the hamster ah

jasonpereira says:
1 year human 3 times rat.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
....

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
he's not a RAT la jason pereira

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
u know anot

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i blame my mother

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
because right

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
today she said

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
when ah that hamster going to die

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i want to put my flower vase on the table his tank is on

jasonpereira says:
KANINA

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i swear she cursed him to death ok

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
anyway

jasonpereira says:
HE GOT DEPRESSED AND DIED!

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i went downstairs

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
tadi kul 1139

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
dug a hole

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
6cm deep

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
and wrapped him in tissue

jasonpereira says:
Not 6 metres?

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
actually i tot want to put in the hole that they dug up for lift upgrading

jasonpereira says:
hahaha.oh yes lift to heaven pe.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
then i got the morbid idea that my hamster might haunt the lifts.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
or maybe

jasonpereira says:
it can only haunt a gym.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
kesiankan his little corpse merana
[pity his poor wandering corpse]

jasonpereira says:
HE HAS NO SOUL!

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
.......

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
how you know

jasonpereira says:
THAT FAT RAT HAS NO SOUL.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
im pretty sure he has ok.

jasonpereira says:
JUST FLUSH THE THING LA.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
YOU AH

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
just like my mother you know

jasonpereira says:
I KNOW BECAUSE HE ATE HIS SOUL.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
she said buang kat tong sampah

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
why you all so mean one

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
da jaga dia one year plus


And then she began to lose it.


♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
life is not worth living anymore.
i think i talked to him more than i talked to my brothers seh.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
besok i think i better burn him a paper wheel

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
and some kuacis

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
and erm

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
a squeaky toy for him to play with

10 mins later.
I knew she had gone mad.

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i should have embalmed him

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
put in a glass case

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
and make you

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
MINTAK MAAF FOR ALL U SAID ABOUT HIM

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
and MY MOTHER ALSO

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
for that flower vase issue

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
i swear that did it

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
he merajuk [sulked]

jasonpereira says:
AHAH H

♦ ▫[ RaeLynn ]▫ ♦ says:
so he kicked the bucket


Dear fat ass rat.
You rest in peace you hear.
Your owner misses you.
I do too.





Till then ,

Mucho Love ;


The Critic

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